Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Shady Business.

As you all know, I've been on the job hunt for some time now. It's like fishing- some days I go out and just sit- put my rod out into the water and wait... and wait... and wait. Other times I feel this huge tug, reel and reel with all my might, and then at the last moment the fish breaks free. However, yesterday I cast my line, quickly feel something snare, reeled in forcefully, got real excited with fantasizing the size of my fish, and then moments later found myself lagging a big smelly boot onto dry land. Not a fish. This boot was called, "Cutco".

Okay enough with the conceits. First off, let's just put it out there that I am getting really DESPERATE for work. TCBY isn't bringing home the bacon I'd like with the 17 hours a week I'm given. So, when I saw an ad for "Student Summer Employment! A 15$ Base Pay! Internships! Flexible Schedules!" I baited my line. I went to the website, filled out the app, and in an hour's time an interview was scheduled for 5:30! This was great! I really had no idea what I was going to an interview about, but I mapquested the place, and showed up early to fill out another application. I walked into the building and up to suite 219. Why were there so many people here? I was handed an application and prompted to another room, filled with folding chairs, a "variety" of individuals to put it nicely, and Bob 96.1 FM. Interesting. I filled out the application, turned it in, and returned to my seat. As I sat, a guy kept taking small groups of people out into another room to interview. Some came back into the room, some did not. I continued to sit, and then looked around the room. My eyes rested on a plaque in the corner- "Cutco" was the first word that caught my eye. I panned to another poster. "The Cutco Experience!" My eyes darted left, but were tackled by yet another banner proclaiming Cutco opportunities until my eyes bled. I looked for excuses for why there was Cutlery all over the room... maybe "Vector Enterprises" shared an office space with Cutco? My name was called in for an interview, and my fear was reality. I was in a Cutco interview. I was applying for a knife sales position. I tried to be positive- maybe it would be... fun? After the 1st interview I was asked to go back to the waiting area to do the 2nd part of the interview... lasting about 1.5 hours. That was a lot of information about knives I really never cared to know. I think the little Cutco Seminar had some witchcraft involved, because the more I listened, the more I told myself that maybe Cutco wouldn't be so bad... I was even a little bit excited. Man I was reeling in hard. I jotted notes, used big words on my evaluation sheet at the end, and then was given a job by the Cutco man on the spot. The fish/boot was almost to the surface. I left the office in a daze... I was going to sell knives? What? I told my parents. They were... supportive? I definitely did not know what to think.

Last night I had dreams about knives. I had nightmares about selling them. In the morning, it was reality. As I rode my bike I thought about this boot I'd reeled in. After a little bit of examination I realized it definitely was not a fish, nor would it ever be a fish. I left it on the dock. I am NOT selling knives. No thank you.

So, today I go to a different stream to cast my line. Any suggestions?


The Ball Babies said...

Alyssa, that is the funniest blog posting i have ever read. I think almost everyone has at some point in their life reeled in a boot or two. Good luck in your job search. Love Dad

Anonymous said...

Alyssa, I got the same letter and went in for the interview at cutco. I can totally understand what you're talking about, especially all those notes I had to take, but in the end, I told them I didn't want to sell knives either so i'm in the same boat you are.
You can try working at a hotel, or maybe even subway if you get desperate! You can also try the "temp" jobs, just go to eapp.com to fill out an application. You get paid 10-12 dollars an hour doing that!
If it makes you feel any better, i'm still looking!
Good luck! Suzanne Walton

Diana said...

Haha i liked this one.
But yeah, thanks to being a skeptical susie, i googled the company like 2 minutes after i got the letter ha.
And I was really actually looking forward to you selling knives and becomming an insta-millionare. Oh well!
As for jobs, I bet you can start working at the pita pit and take away from kurt's 40 plus hours?? Haha

KMijal said...

This is hilarious. I did this once too! I called back the next day (after a night of thinking about it) and told them I no longer could accept the postion. hahahaha funny