crisis

Yesterday I swallowed my retainer.

Yes, yes, go and get the laughing out now.

It was a day like any other day- I went to class, and then while running on Monday, I realized my permanent retainer on my bottom four front teeth had come uncemented on the right side. I let out a long mental "ARGHHHH!" and silently cursed my orthodontist for ruining my life with my crappy retainer and marathon invisalign. Overdramatic? Maybe a little. Anyways, I'd just get to the orthodontist sooner or later. It was still cemented to the other side, so I figured things were probably going to be alright.

About 7 hours later it was FHE time. PS I love my FHE group. Anyways, it was Battle of the Sexes/Ice Cream Brownie night. The brownies I'd made turned out pretty lamely, seeing as I was too cheap to buy a brownie mix and thought I could create my own. Rachel used her culinary arts skills (and common sense) to buy a mix and make brownies that were actually good. However, she cooked them a little long, and it was about the time I finished gnawing off a pretty crusty corner, chewed, and swallowed that I realized something was peculiar.

My mouth felt a little too good.

My teeth were a little too smooth.

My retainer a was a little too gone.

Upon realizing my retainer was missing, I jumped up, started looking for the one inch piece of metal by the ice cream container, and then came to a horrible, awful, miserable, pathetic realization. I'd swallowed it.

Everyone always tells me I eat fast. It is true. I inhale food. Every tells me I should chew more. It is true. Evidentially I chew so little that I can't even distinguish brownie from metal.

I freaked out a little, and my mom freaked out a lot. Her freaking out and telling me I was going to puncture my stomach caused my level of freaking out to spike, which in turn caused everyone at FHE to laugh at me. They all told me I would probably live to see tomorrow, but I was not so sure....

... however, here I am. Alive, kicking, registered for classes next semester, and avoiding studying for my Spanish test.

Alyssa 1, Retainer 0.

Now to find a competent orthodontist to fix my teeth before they go crooked. Eek! Life is difficult without a car... hence another reason the scooter sounds better with each passing day.