Monday, September 12, 2011

and the world spins madly on

hi, spain. te amo
life is a funny thing.

i am learning that more and more as i make decisions, change my mind, succeed, fail, and improvise in almost every aspect of my life.

last weekend i dropped out of school for the semester. they call it "discontinuance" or something frilly like that. quite frankly, this is not anything i ever in a million years would have imagined myself doing, but after a lot intense thought and a pretty big quarter life crisis right before the add/drop deadline, i decided it would be in my best interest to pull the plug on fall semester.

my decision to discontinue stems from my inability to decided what i want to be when i grow up. i like food. i like exercise. i like spanish. i like writing. i thought that dietetics would be the best option for me, but last friday it just hit me that dietetics wasn't quite it. half of my fall schedule was geared toward this major, and while this realization came to me before any major deadlines, it was 2 weeks into the semester and too late to catch up if i tried to get into new classes, and i was tired of wasting my money on frivolous classes. taking that big deep breath and pressing that "drop all classes" button was both exhilarating and terrifying. calling my parents and explaining the situation was both satisfying and shameful. trying to figure out what i am going to do for a whole semester is proving to be both frustrating and, well just frustrating.

i've always been a woman with a plan- i've had something to look forward to and work towards, but currently the only thing occupying my brain seems to be a resounding "now what". i'm good at filling time and being productive, but i'm still worried taking a semester off will prove to be either the best or the very worst decision i've made. i've got a lot of introspection to do. a lot of prayer, pondering, and decision-making.

patience is a virtue and change is the only constant. i have a lot to learn. in the meantime i will call this quote my mantra.
"life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful" - george bernard shaw, anglo-irish playwright. 


D said...

I definitely feel you on the whole life=tough decision making=a whole lotta confusion....don't you miss the good ol days when everything was planned out in a sequence down to our class schedules?? Sheesh.

But I have faith that you will figure it all out my dear friend!! Enjoy this semester, take time to think, and keep me updated on yo life! <3 Until then, I'll just be the suffering marketing major who just wants to be a pediatrician....ahhhh what a joke haha. :)

The Ball Babies said...

EVerything will work out for the best! You are, after all, only 20 and not 40! Let me know if you need anything and keep on thinking of what you want in this life!! It's bound to change several times, I'm sure.

Love you!

And don't feel ashamed - PLEASE!

Aly G said...

I had no idea! That is okay Alyssa! You are so young! What is one more semester? Seriously. You are fine. You are so good at so many things!! Good luck deciding! I think you should become a writer of some sort for sure!;) xoxo