Thursday, October 20, 2011

yet another little list

today at work i compiled a montage of all the reasons my job can be pretty dang awkward. i don't know what is worse- the things i find myself saying, the things i find myself doing, or the things i find myself thinking. i will let you decide. but really- i've posted about a lot of the "happenstances" at work time and time again, but they just seem to get better and better. so here i go, divulging what happens from the other side of the counter.

1. the fact that one of my jobs is to check people out... and i say things like "i can check you out over here!" "you're all checked out!" or "i just checked you out". oy.
you can only say this to so many five year olds before you start creeping yourself out a little bit.

2. those parents. the ones who call for an emergency stubbed toe.
the ones who painstakingly spell out their last name.
the last name is smith.  S......M......I.....T..............H.
the ones who give WAY too much information... use your imagination.
the ones who give no information.
"and what are we seeing your child for today" "i think they're sick" ok. awesome.
the ones who think you are best friends.
"oh hey alyssa, it's me again. hailey's mom!" (hailey who...)
the celebrity families. notorious for their style, number of children, booming voices, craziness, or ability to dismantle an entire waiting room before they are even checked in. or all of the above.
hands down my favorite parent.

3. asking people if the urine sample they are thrusting towards me is "fresh" and then getting as far away as possible as they try to drop it right off into my hands. thanks.... but no thanks.

4. even more fantastic child names.
rayjin waters
autumn sky
alexandr khristian (neither black nor rapper)
and my favorite family of trees: aspen, autumn, everett, ivy, and oakley. true life!

5. the stickers. oh, those stickers. if i have one piece of advice to offer up, it is probably this. never ever ever ever touch the stickers at the doctor's office. i am quite positive that every single symptom and syndrome can be found on that special box of princess stickers. the throaty coughers hack all over them. the boogery kids wipe their noses then dive right into the bucket. whole boxes get stuck in toddlers' mouths. never touch them unless you're trying to leave with a souvenir of a whole different strain.

in other news, i still don't know what i should be for halloween. it has got to be good. i've got to wear it to work and the children have got to like it! i want witty. i want comfortable. i want some great ideas!

i made applesauce. i am going to make my children their own baby food. i will probably eat more of said baby food than the actual baby.

i probably spent the last hour trying to figure out how to use spotify since i am getting the vibe that pandora is so.... 2010. it's just me, getting with the times!

did i tell you i drive a van? it is awful. dreadful.

happy almost friday... big plans this weekend! working. hiking. continuing my college drop out bumminess. making hummus and more soup. a recap will most definitely ensue.

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